Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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