I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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