i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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