I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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