No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He has the fingertips of a God
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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