Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
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Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
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I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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