SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
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My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
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I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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