its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize