I cannot find my penis.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
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