You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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