Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
