I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
