I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
How does it feel to date your dad?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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