Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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