i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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