ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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