found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
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She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
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I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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