JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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