Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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