All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
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She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She told me I should be a condom model.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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