I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize