She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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