Got a toothbrush?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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