your thong is hanging out like whoa
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
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My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
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I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Dicks are not precious.
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