New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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