who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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