I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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