help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize