'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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