Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize