Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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