Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize