My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize