guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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