I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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