Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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