I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize