I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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