I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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