see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize