Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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