I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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