So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
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Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
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This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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