i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize