sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
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What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
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"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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