Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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