; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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