I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
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What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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