Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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