if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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