I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
